Monthly Archives: December 2015

Why You Are Ef’in Up The Love?

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I thinking of writing more about this, maybe incorporating you as co-conspirators on the project, because I know I’m not the only one going thru these things. And as much as I’ve tried to separate this from my reality, its just not possible. So excuse me if you feel this about you/its not. Its about our practices. You won’t see me naming names. There appears to be a cancer that has penetrated our community of grown folk and maybe I can address it in a true-to-life project. Maybe we can do an anthology of experiences in one book and help others so we don’t repeat the same nonsense? #thoughts

So while I’m a work-a-coholic, I’m still a human being who drives, survives, relies on and for true love. And because I would like to have that again in my life in the realest way, I still must “vet” candidates. This includes you if you live in another state/full of promises… this includes you if you like to “play” in my in-box/beating around the bush with no real purpose or sense of commitment. This includes you if you like to pass judgement from text messages instead of hearing a mans voice, or better yet seeing him face to face. I think it's childish that anyone should formulate and even dissolve your possibilities of happiness, friendship and true love from a fucking text message. Any of my real friends CALL ME. They might drop everything they're doing to help me, as I would for them. My real friends don't even need to speak to me for weeks, months or years, but we're bonded. And if there was ever a question that needed to be answered/one that was heavily concerning them and required urgency, the LAST place I'd see them is dancing around on social media before they came to address the urgency. Your mom, your sister or brother is facing a crisis that requires your attention, but you got them on hold because you're too busy seeking social acceptance online? Whoa. This is why it's important to vet people. The vetting process is where you're going to learn about people and their bad habits. Once you realize what the habits are it's up to you whether to accept or decline or make concessions and sacrifices.
As for me, it's normal procedure to get you know you better, especially if I'm gonna give you my heart or body. So then you're gonna wanna know my sexual appetite. Never mind dancing around the idea? You may as well know, yes! I'm a damned normal, hungry, fire-breathing dragon in bed! Just like you are, (or just what you want) except you try and hide or sugarcoat it! Omg but YOU GAVE BIRTH! That shit din happen by the US Postal service? You fucked, got fucked, probably cried Holy this/Holy-that, Jesus Joseph & Mary. And that's the stuff I AM mentioning. Nevermind what's hidden behind closed doors. Point is, we can't be hypocritical boo. We must leave margin for error, especially if we didn't grow up together/never spent years in one another's company, don't even know one another's parents. If you want a lifetime commitment from a guy you cannot look at him strange becuz He express himself, his wants $ desires? What do you want him to LIE to you? Don't you WANT him to be clear and up front for you? Personally, it's a must that I know who is behind that woman I’m courting. A lot to lose over here/I don’t know what YOU are working with. As for me, there’s a legacy to maintain and live out; a legacy that must outlive me.


And so, I’m still dating; unfortunately. Me, a man who is…

  • about his business,
  • no baby-momma-drama,
  • successful on so many levels,
  • healthy
  • a committed man
  • head on straight
  • respectful
  • talented, yadda yadda yadda…

So Queen, while you are an awesome woman in so many ways, here’s what I’ve noticed about you:

  1. You’re scared. sensitive & untrusting. It's hard for you to relax because (if you're pretty) you've likely been the target of many suitors. And if you're getting older, you've also been thru a lot, so it's hard.
  2. You’re jaded by a past and still have luggage that causes you to pre-judge. It blinds you and disables you from seeing the real-deal… the raw truth before you. With all the signals coming at you, from your girlfriends, your ratchet reality shows and all the other influences in your diet, it can be confusing. If you don't know who YOU are
  3. You jump to conclusions and assume. You can be partially wrong or all wrong/it’s a jump nevertheless. There's an old saying "When u assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME... ASS-U-ME.

  4. I'll say it: Too many of you are weed-smokers, possibly the reason for your poor judgement #braincells
    oh this is a big one
  5. You THRIVE on and PERPETUATE miscommunication! I think that is your caffeine/some of you. You just EXPECT THE WORST and get high off of the possibilities!
    Yes, an You want to prove that you can “do it yourself” that you “don’t need no man to do it for you” so on and so forth. I’ve seen this get so severe that even if the woman is in physical pain and I can help… no, I’m not a Doctor, but I know some things. And this particular woman had a severe shoulder pain that I relieved by my massage skills and the TLC that I put into it… I relieved her in the emergency room. ("Omg I can't believe you came here!" She cried), and then the pain came back a week or so later/when she clearly needed me again.
    “I’ve been crying all day” she’d tell me on the phone, I guess she was too proud to “give in” or to call when that no-strings-attached relief was a phone call away. So I was sort of helpless. When I explained all of that to her, I just got apologies. #shrug Anyhow, that sense of “denial” is something I’ve seen before. Just more interruption of the Black Love we all sign up for in the first place.
    And there’s one more:
  6. You’re “thirsty,” presumptuous, and/or your self esteem is challenged where it concerns your body and few extra pounds. That is a cancer swimming around in your head. We’re on a date and you feel you hafta make an excuse about your weight or why you don't work out? smh. If THAT was an issue or concern of mine what makes you think we’d be spending quality time together in the first place? Am I having the pity-party with you? No, I don’t expect you to adopt the fitness lifestyle just because thats what I do/not right away anyhow. You may need some motivation; who knows? But to bring it up in the form of an excuse or to rationalize your situation is not a good thing. Yes, you should be on a healthy path, but you should nevertheless be as happy with you as I was when we met. Period.

So while distance, some miscommunication and other mashups, smash-ups, fuck-ups and fails have been part of the dating experience, and while the aforementioned trends have been all too obvious, I will not give up looking for love and Mrs Right-for-me. Shit, with all the women crying about “I can’t find a man” you’d think they’d spill out of a faucet for me, considering I’m a successful, respectful, purposeful heterosexual male? Considering I’m a better candidate than many women can IMAGINE, much less meet and date. I hafta say even to you, “I’m a way better choice than your past choices?”
Okay, NOW you can “shake your head.”

But after you do that, consider these rules to help you in your choosing your future soulmate:

1) DON’T GO SOLELY ON WHAT PREACHER SAYS: I know this hurts a lot of you/so sorry. But Jesus was not White, Santa doesn’t exist, and there’s this thing about all police being righteous, upstanding keepers of the law… So, what every preacher says is not necessarily law… it may not even be helpful to you. He’s a great orator. He has some sage advice. But what he says does not necessarily or specifically apply to you. Be a better ACCESSOR of the information you’re importing. A woman I dated came to show me her engagement ring one day; she was prepared to marry a guy who THE CHURCH APPROVED for her? But a few weeks later I saw her again: “Where’s your ring?” And she told me, “We called it off.” Lord help me. How many women are “trapped” in situations because of what the church or what the preacher endorses?

2) STOP JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS! Text messages will kill your party EVERY TIME! I’ve had text messages come to me out of sequence, and the next thing you know I’m getting a text that assumes the worst: “well it was nice knowing you” (or something to that effect). There’s also a lack of tempo in a text and (if the two of you are not on the same page at all times) the text can be read wrong. We’re not always the best communicators, depending on what we’re doing, if we’re busy, on the run, multi-tasking etc. This goes for authors too! We’re not always the best communicators, tbt

3) BE A BETTER ACCESSOR: this may take timing patience, and you may never get it right. But, if a man is telling you by his words, actions and convictions that he wants to be “the one” as in “committed relationship”, please give that idea some FAITH? Some CONSIDERATION? I mean, before you say, text or do anything DUMB? Unless he gives you some SERIOUS REASON as to why that’s a lie, or if you’re not REALLY CONVINCED, then have a little patience with him. IJS #relentless

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MURDER. SEX. CHAOS: EVERYONE IS TO BLAME

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EVERYONE IS TO BLAME
: ACCEPT IT OR NOT, we are ALL part of the problem, whether you are a descendant & beneficiary of
slavery/entitled by the benefits of being White, whether you “got over” on a real estate deal years back, maybe over-financing your property (and never got caught)… if you own some business and you’ve over-charged for your products or services, then you “took” from the available resources that human beings need to grow/to survive… maybe taxpayers had to pick up the slack. I remember many years ago a good friend of mine was in position at SEARS, and he could easily allow things to “leave the store” at pennies on the dollar. My ethics (and his) were way less than scrupulous at the time, but in hindsight I can see that if Sears was taking that sort of hit all over the nation, it could indeed lead to the reason why Macy’s is ahead of them in earnings, or why Target and Walmart are industry leaders, and not Sears. There were times I got free gas fill-ups from “friends.” There were plenty of times I was fed for free at this restaurant and that… how about over-pouring at the bar. Never did I think about “who’s paying for this?” Never did I consider reciprocity, available resources or replenishing. That only comes with maturity & awareness. Call it “growing up” if you want to, but you and I both know people who are still acting like adolescents, taking things that don’t belong to them. They con’t know how to contribute and earn, so they take. And therein lies the imbalance in resources, and the interrupt in Universal Law. The “Circle of Life.”

Family, I was no angel in my past, but I know that KARMA has its place. I know that no matter what SOMEONE had to clean up after me and my dirt… after you and your choices that taxed someone/somehow. That’s right, these are the checks and balances of life.

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You might romanticize music and think James Brown’s “Sex Machine” is hot. But the truth is it pushed the envelope and helped to make “sexin'” the norm. We’re humans, and we’re here to procreate, yes. But we have the ability to think civil & not carnal. We have the ability to “reason” and not wild-out. We can even exercise logic.

But dirt is done on many levels, whether you’re aware of it or not. If you agreed with Elvis and his girations or James Brown and his “Sex Machine” on stage, you’ve endorsed and helped to fuel the “sexual revolution” that today finds the floodgates wide open with men calling women bitches and worse. You’re the reason there is excessive porn, and women selling their bodies… if you enjoy and repeat the music or the videos that re-enact sex in the content, whether its Janet or Prince or even Salt ‘n Pepa… if you enjoy or romance movies with violence and have repeated lines from the vicious Scarface, or the criminality in Cat Ballou… even if you rejected these platforms altogether and you are the squeaky clean mirror-image of Jesus Christ, and you’ve perhaps denied these artists, these ideologies and the like, (yes if you’ve turned your back on those who did not know the way or those who were wild while searching for a way), you too are culpable of and responsible for the state we find ourselves in today. The reason why the youth of the world are “out of control” is because of what we practiced Its because of our routines. We went from Englebert Humperdinck, Barry Manilow and Sinatra, to Madonna, Snoop Dog and comparing women to jeeps. We are enabled to be the worst we can be, without enforcement/up until we cross the line.

Don’t like the mass shootings of Sandy Hook? AWE, WHAT A FUCKIN PITY, because YOU’RE THE SAME ONE WHO SUPPORTS STEVEN KING! Did you know that Steven wrote THE BLUEPRINT for the Sandy Hook killings?

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Steven King’s Bachman book series is the foundation of the worst that can happen. Want to read about Sandy Hook? Ready RAGE, written decades ago. #Blueprint

How about 911? Are your panties in a bunch because people flew airplanes into skyscrapers? Where in tarnation do you think they came up with that? Could it be the X-Files TV show/spin-off called “The Lone Gunman”? Could it be the Tom Clancy novel “Debt of Honor“? If you don’t like the gun violence amongst gangs (whether they are from the streets or wearing uniforms), then you have yourself to blame, since YOU TOO have MEMORIALIZED “THE GODFATHER” and you ROMANTICIZED. How about “True Lies” and “King Kong“? “TRAINING DAY.” You don’t like women getting raped, or young girls getting peed-on by grammy award winning singers, AND YET YOU PRAISE MONSTER’S BALL, THE COLOR PURPLE AND PRECIOUS. Who are we kidding? WE LOVE THIS SHIT UNTIL IT HITS YOUR FRONT PORCH! UNTIL WE HAFTA EXPERIENCE IT OURSELVES! You allowed THE HANDMAID’S TALE onto SCHOOL READING LISTS, THEREBY PUTTING THESE IDEAS INTO KIDS HEADS FOR DECADES. WHETHER BY DEFAULT, OR BY ROUTINE PRACTICE, PROBABLY SINCE THE DAY EVE ATE THE APPLE, WE ARE ALL TO BLAME. We endorsed the BS that has perpetuated itself for centuries, and now that the evolution is indeed televised, we are seeing it all raw and uncut, and we claim that we don’t like what we’re seeing, even tho we are WAY PAST THE POINT OF NO RETURN. And even YOU… If you turned your back on those who closely and/or purposefully perpetuate these ideas, YOU TOO ARE TO BLAME. Nobody escapes the truth of our digression, of our temptations and of our age-old routine of BEDLAM remixed for the digital age. But we’re quick to accept the progress and benefit from what we call “style” or “creativity.” You love to say, “don’t blame the messenger,” and you love to flaunt your FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS, that same caption from a document that is outdated and selectively enforced. But family, the reality here is there is no denying our responsibility for the way things are. And don’t get it twisted, for I too am in the matrix, growing the fruit, selling the fruit and eating the fruit. EVERYONE IS TO BLAME.

5 Ways To Avoid Getting Shot-Up By A Mass Murderer

Just Wow, This Morning

There’s always a lesson inside the madness. Whether or not the two Bonnie/Clyde killers in San Bernardino (the 355th US mass shooting/4 or more people shot or killed) acted inside of a Jihadi-terrorist mindset or not, there are lessons to be learned here. A good friend asked me this morning: “What do we do? Whats happening? Are they coming to Atlanta?”

And while there’s a paranoia in all of the reasoning and rationale, there is one strong beacon of reality that stands out for me: Where there are more people (no matter their intent or purpose) there are more problems. 

12346621_10153637832930733_675146436_nThere are 7.3 billion people on the planet. Of that number, we’re compartmentalized by geography, by religious fellowships & beliefs, and by group allegiances. Beyond that, there are families, political alliances and career affiliations and social interests. For the most part, that covers the large groups of us. My “grouping” and “chunking” people together, at least in this commentary, is my way of detailing humanity for a clear and concise perspective on my points. Here are my points:

1) RECOGNIZE THE RED FLAGS – In most every case where there is a mass-shooter, bomber or someone wanting to do harm to a number of people/all at once, the attacker is problematic. Its most likely a “he” who is angry at the world, the circumstances he works or lives in, and perhaps his own lack of resources or of progress.

There is that point of no return where one “gives up” and either surrenders to life by taking their own life, or gives up and decides to “go out with a bang,” taking their own lives and the lives of others. There’s also that peak of frustration; “the tipping point” if you will, which flips the switch for these folks.

The guy who shot the owner of the liquor store (and his customer) and then held his mother hostage… he hit his tipping point. The disgruntled teenager who felt he wasn’t loved from girls in his school; same guy who had it out for the jocks at the same school… he recorded youtube video and showed us all that he had hit his tipping point. South Carolina racial shooting in the church; hate-based, and the guy hit his tipping point. He was ready to throw it all away and surrendered to his own lack of love and love for humanity. The Planned Parenthood attack… Happyland social club fire that was set in NYC years back, the movie theater shooting the Boston boming, Sandy Hook… the perps are almost always on a mission, disgruntled, at there tipping point. Many or all of these folks have shown us “red flags.” Their families, friends, co-workers and others may have not recognized the indicators. But one thing is for sure, things could have been different had they identified the problem before it hit its boiling point. So, while this is not cut & dry, RECOGNIZE THE RED FLAGS, those actions and mannerisms of the people around you.

2) MORE PEOPLE, MORE PROBLEMS – Speaking of the “people around you” how well do you know them? Yes indeed, there is a thin line between you “investigating” someone and “stalking” them. There are rules as to what you can and can’t do/should or shouldn’t do where it relates to another person’s privacy. A person cannot simply be put under arrest or investigation (at least not legally) for their thoughts and beliefs. However, there are warning signs. Sure, the guy who talks to himself all day, cursing government and job and family may well have mental issues, but he can’t simply be arrested?

What a mess we have to deal with in this day and age. Everyone with financial hardship; lonely, rejected and shafted both in their social life and career path. Too many people not embracing the concepts of “live & let live” or “unconditional loving,” or the ideas of “not condemning, criticizing or complaining.”

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Too many stresses and unbearable tensions in life that are pushing people over the edge; some that are good folk with potential to do and be better, others who are clearly unable to find that peace. But for sure, you can control the amount of randomness you’re exposed to by controlling the people you keep in your circle, the places you frequent and when, the exposure to large crowds. Not to say that you need to always walk on eggshells or that you shouldn’t go where large crowds are, just to say that you should always be vigilant, concerned and careful. And that leads to my next point…

3) AN OUNCE OF PREVENTION – Do you know the exits of the facility where you are a “part of a crowd?“ Do you know if everyone in the gym that you frequent? And if not, do see them interacting with others you might know in that same gym? Who are the “loners” in your midst? Who is connected and who is disconnected from society? Do you know all of the staff members at the school where you drop you child? What other parents have access to the school and0 on what level are they engaging with the students? What sorts of bags are you around? That gentleman that just left the fast food restaurant; is that his bag he left behind? And if you’re not keen enough to know someone’s erratic behavior, you always have the option of having casual conversation, but then you can always just rely on your ‘6th sense” or simply “have faith” that God is watching over you. Personally, I’d like more hard facts to go on than my 6th sense, or merely “following my heart.” But what I’m simply saying is to be aware of your surroundings. Be aware of the people in your surroundings. Thats the least you can do.

4) YOUR HEART & CONSCIENCE –  I say “follow your 6th sense” but what I’m basically saying is to “go with your gut reaction.” You don’t have your own police force to watch over you so you need to police your own world. In this day you can’t assume you’re safe at all times; consider your workplace, consider your home, consider public spaces. But consider your “blind spots” amidst all of these spaces.

5) NONE OF THE ABOVE – None of the above trumps God’s grace and mercy over your life. Know that you are precious, that you are a survivor and that you are a born winner.

Take the risks you feel you can win at and even those where there is a question. Favor may just take you that extra mile; its what heros are made of. Heros sacrifice their lives to save the lives of others. God Bless our heros.

But also Godspeed to you if you ever get caught up in some nonsense such as a mass shooting. Yes, my title is striking to get you to read; obviously, many cannot avoid being victim to stuff like this; and God Bless those who unfortunately perished at the hands of mass murderers. However, there are a couple things I want to leave you with; First, what is happening now is a result of years and decades of digression in our lifestyles, our music, our entertainment, and how we’ve stretched our own imaginations into the world of the worst that can happen. Horror movies are number one instead of the teachers and counselors and mentors in our lives. Raunchy music is number one and supported with our dollars; but that attention is not given to good fathers, medical research and the uplifting of humanity. For so long we’ve been digressing, and as others have put it “We’re going to Hell.” “The world is coming to an end” so on and so forth. The quickest ways to reach these predictions are being prevented by law enforcement and the military. But who’s protecting our mental condition? Who’s safeguarding how you think and why? Who’s in charge of your mind? A rapper? A movie star? The only enforcer of you r mind is YOU.

What happened in San Bernardino can easily be your neighborhood in a couple of hours. And it will be your next door neighbor who brings the pain and conflict. I know this because it happened here in Rockdale County some months ago where a guy had reached his limit, took two lives, took his mother hostage and then police took him. But how else to avoid the madness except to control and bring ease to what we practice, what we inhale and absorb?

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Whatever happened to peace and tranquility?

Family, we are 3 degrees from living or dying. Its easy to die, to take your life, to  go off the deep end.

No matter how you face it, we are all tadpoles being eaten by spiders, or we’re those same spiders who are eaten by bigger fish. And then of course, the eagles come get the fish. Who are you? Are you the tadpole, the spider, the fish or the eagle?

#thingsthatmakeyougommm

#relentlessaaron