APOLOGIES... WHILE I USUALLY like to think outside of the box and objectively about issues that effect our community, I feel like my recent comments on RKelly and the "Surviving R Kelly" doc would feel insensitive to many who have seen the broadcast, as well as to those who are on the front lines in social work, in education and addressing the dysfunction that plagues us. There are different variations of the doc that are shown on different platforms. I've seen a lot of this in the earlier BBC presentation. And of course, our network news gives us the short and ugly, the talk shows and bloggers give us their versions, there's the entire doc that could be seen on Lifetime (or the firestick if you have that access), there are Facebook pages that stream just certain parts of it over and again #repeat and there are all sorts of varying perspectives about something thats already very ugly. No matter how the issues blend; the celebrity and the fame, the age issues, the entertainment industry excusing this abuse, the twisted, seedy and unusual sex, and this whole thing about abuse, enslavement, etc. It is still a picture and a story that RKelly created.
This is HIS fault however it plays on our minds. There's no "box" that this can be packaged into and no way to dissect these insidious acts, simply because
1) there's so much of it, 2) because its been the same repeated practice for over a decade, and 3) we cannot ignore the damage; even if they went in naive, wanton or even driven to this magnet... even if the law hasn't caught up with him... they are still hurting. Thats never good.
And even tho this doc is one perspective on the activity thats been hidden in plain sight, even tho these acts have been taking place in our midst for a long time in "pimp culture" in music, movies and in adult entertainment, all of it broadly accepted and embraced, or secretly so, its still a dark side of life that I don't subscribe to. Women in pain (Black, White or other) is something that I don't agree with. And as much as I've written about this stuff, none of you have likely researched my writings in the entirety in order to draw a clear picture of how I receive and feel about it. Hell, depending on hormonal balance a lot of us don't speak from the heart.
But I'm speaking from my heart now when I say that RKelly is just as bad as BillCosby. He's just as bad as WoodyAllen and just as bad as EddieLong. I'm not a fan of any of these cats and don't agree with how they've used their fame and influence to take advantage of underage, impressionable beings. Okay yes, the argument about the legal age to get married is crazy:
"To marry in Georgia, you must be at least 16 years old. If you are under the age of 18, you cannot get a marriage license without parental consent." And its likely different in other states.
"Texas law permits individuals who have reached the age of majority (18) to get married without parental consent. However, those 14 and older may get married with the consent of their parents or legal guardians."
"Mississippi's marriage age statutes are that minors under minimum age may obtain license with parental consent and approval of court. Minor females age 15 yrs. and older and males 17 yrs. and older but under 21 may obtain license with parental consent and court order."
Yo, these numbers are bananas. I can't even look at a woman that young in that way. But I can imagine what thats about. I can imagine men taking advantage of that situation. It's so deep and widespread, and the issues worsen when you add the peeing and the brainwashing and the physical and mental abuse. It calls on any right-minded individual to use common sense... to "put 2+2 together" to "jump to conclusions" and "assume the worst" even tho the law does not agree with that. All those folks that proudly announce "I don't care. I'm just here for the music" and "Those women are fast" and "they can walk away if they want to... theres no chains on them..." I already shake my head at the ignorance therein, so then why would I want to walk that thin line where you (my own friends and followers) might question my won sharp wit and/or lack thereof?
Sure, I'm well-rounded and clear about a lot of things; but I don't know it all. I will agree that I am not well-rounded when it comes to experiencing this kind of behavior. Thank God I haven't been raped or molested. And its just reality (when in Rome) that I must have a heart where it relates to any issues that touch on sensitive subjects such as this.
Im so sorry that my voice is not as perfect as I'd like and that I don't "follow the crowd" when it comes to issues like these. I'm radical and polarizing at times, yes. But I'm sorry that this industry that I'm a part of turns its back on victims of these crimes.
I'm also sorry if my words have hurt you personally; no way for me to know what you've been thru. But let me also drop this: I have spoken out strongly about the fact that this is going on everyday in marriages, in male-female relationships where money, power and convenience traps women into unwanted circumstances, right here in our neighborhoods/under our noses, and there's no "Lifetime doc" to cover the hurt and pain going on. However, to maintain perspective and to not muddy an already ugly reality, let me stay on point and apologize for my earlier perspective. It is not the inspiring direction Ive taken in life and I never want to just sling bows and arrows at people I don't know, circumstances I'm not as familiar with. There are a lot of you that connect to me on various levels. So I must speak to all of you and not make excuses, and also ask forgiveness.
Will you forgive me?