Not Loving Too Fast

Loving Relentless aaron – the saga

JADED SOUL THAT I AM, It’s difficult to pursue, to court or to “vet” a potential mate without the element of “sex” in the equation. In my mind, I’ve “flipped the switch” so that I can “think straight” as we move forward during this sensitive time. I’m determined to have a friend and to “figure her out” before any of the extras. Because I’m so busy, I’m finding it super-easy to shut down that side of my brain, (YES, I SAID SHUT DOWN/World is coming to an end, I know) knowing that such a significant activity will add leverage and importance to our relationship; but can I get that leverage and importance WITHOUT the sex? On one hand, we know sex can glue-together any of the distance that two people might find… different family upbringings, different walk in life… sometimes even what and when they eat. People DO have different lives, and sometimes that can create a gap, a void, or some “distance.” On the other hand, sex can blind you to certain things. You might ignore the “hole in the donut” and instead concentrate on the substance the quality and the enjoyment of the donut itself. And this sudden abstinence is, well, “cute.” And its also SO outside of my comfort zone! And yet I’m also aware that the LACK of sex can also create a sort of leverage and intensity for that moment when the hammer DOES fall. (and it will, dammit. One day soon IT WILL!) lol. Time will reveal. #relentless