I know those days well, as they aren’t far in the past. I din know where my next meal was coming from. Yes, I had 2 pennies to rub together, bot ONLY 2, and I could feel them in my pocket while driving to Starbucks, gas tank on E, knowing that I was not only gonna make payroll (thats me and me alone, and the $300 in monthly expenses I was maintaining between phone bill, LA Fitness and Internet charges for websites I was servicing), determined to make something out of my nothing. Determined to overcome this negative thought process about my finances/blaming everyone I could think of, and also, still leveraging everything, going all-in on my life’s purpose.
And there goes that word purpose again, that bit about how we’re here to achieve a certain thing, that thing the world will know us for. “Find your purpose, master your craft, follow your dreams.” We hear that all the time. Meanwhile, my other brain is yelling “Fuck that hype.” My other brain is all about blame, and he said this, and he said that.” And, damn if this din happen, I would be hurt in this or that way…” The excuses go on and on. And that brain is also all about taking wayward chances, and (oh yeah),
imma’ fuck without planting seeds, exhaust my fumes, and go back to business as usual, no strings. It’s a hard-knock life, bitch!
Yep. Voices, characters and images all fighting, breakdancing and playing God inside my head. But even as I can easily find my creative license and excuses why, how come and coulda-shoulda-woulda, it made way more sense and it was way more productive (in hindsight) to think and wonder “how, where, when?” and to imagine the benefits of those questions. Thats my truth (and yours too) to ask and answer questions, and to come up with conclusions, decisions and choices. The state of where you are now has so much to do with the seeds you planted 1 and 5 and 20 years ago. It comes down to deciding you’re here for the journey and not the sprint. It comes down to knowing the story of the bamboo tree and how it takes 5 years to sprout and how it requires watering everyday.
The journey is being all-in on your strengths, on the relationships that make sense and which you’ve discovered value, on the disciplines that have proven wise and effective in your life, on your daily grind & agendas, and furthermore, your journey is about what works, where you’re most resourceful in your own life and in the lives of others. The journey will impose sanctions and play judge and jury, and you will realize reality-checks & balances when you fuck up in your quest towards your life’s purpose; in other words, when you fall off. Your journey will also bless you time and again, every waking day, once you open your eyes to see the fruits of your labors, your decisions and investments in time, energy and people.
True that: this race has seen many sprinters, but long distance running goes to the Kenyans, since they practice endurance and they embrace their rich culture and are indeed “all-in” on the investments of time, patience and energy they give to their calling; even if its by default. Giving up the pussy on the first date: SPRINTER. Circling or cutting around the 10 cars in front of you to cut the line, because you have no patience: SPRINTER. Fast food ALL the time: SPRINTER.
So are you gonna go for the Instagram Coochie or are you gonna get in deep with a face-to-face; spending that “real time” with someone you can give and receive with? Someone you can realize commonalities in and with whom you can engage because you are “like-minded?” Are you gonna make the decision in time and energy that will feed you and much as you do the feeding? Life is all about that give and take. That flow. And it’s real comfortable on this side where that reality flows constantly, when you can be focused in your efforts and those 24 hours we’re blessed with.
If you’re hungry and starved, it may have a lot to do with the decisions you made a year ago, whether it was about a person, a job, or even a night out partying. YES! One night partying can CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
In the end, I can’t save y’all but I can show you my blueprint.
Family, when it comes down to life and getting what you want and feeling happy and fulfilled, I want to remind you that YOU NEED A BLUEPRINT! Thats a PLAN, GOALS, and AGENDA and ultimately a VISION. Having that and focusing on that will always having you living life on purpose, never feeling left out. If anything, OTHERS are left out of YOUR unique life’s experience!
And PLEASE DON’T FEEL THAT YOU’RE MISSING OUT ON ANYTHING when you see others progressing. Just feel inspired and thoroughly entertained by the success of others. Because (Uhh Monique? Daaaahling) you ain’t gonna be happy being bitter. All you’re gonna do is attract all the other miserable, desperate & hungry energies of the world. And at that point, you got just ONE asset left. So (shrugs) go ahead and take it off! INSTAGRAM IS WAITING!
Sidenote: so many actresses have fought and fucked to get up in the ranks of hollywood. Congrats to the actresses who have overcome.
Congrats Tiffany Haddish. No matter who won the 2018 Oscar award, it feels like you already won one yourself!