IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH, YOU’D BETTER NOT READ THIS!
The truth, FRIENDO, is you can’t write worth a fuck! And its not merely your writing, but your story has no substance. Its full of hood-speak and nuances that are of interest to people who are shallow in their own life’s discovery. In other words, all they wanna hear is vulgarity, sex, and all about any relation to the dead cycle they’re caught up in. They have no interest in growing, or expanding beyond their environment because they’re stuck on the nail; they’re even comfortable on the nail, just like your writing. I would LOVE to sit here and encourage you, but you need some tough love. You need a kick in the ass! And besides, that wouldn’t be keeping it real!
AND THERE’S MORE!
You have no sense of perspective. You’re writing is all one-dimensional, as if you (the wannabe writer) are God. If you were God, you might have something important and relevant to talk about in your book. And you don’t even hafta be that to be an effective writer; how about just being able to command a reader’s attention with a cohesive paragraph? Hint: if I hafta read that paragraph twice to understand it, you are not cutting the cheese. And how about learning about plotting, tempo, building a character? How about having a voice? You don’t have a voice, friendo. What you are is a town crier, not even loud enuf for the town to hear you. So then, you’re an apartment crier, talkin slick in the mirror/gangsta-grillin in your dreams; stuck in a room that’s not even officially ghetto. If you wanna spend your life tryna “keep it real,” you might wanna show us that (instead of tell us) and become a real writer. You might wanna go back to the drawing board, pick up on some mastery, so your writing won’t continue to be such a mystery.
YOU ASK: “What’s the drawing board consist of, Relentless?”
I RESPOND: “I’m so glad you asked!”
- “First of all, burn all the shit you THINK is good writing. Because if you’ve been using that as a blueprint, you either were so caught up in it that you were more entertained than busy with the dynamics of how the story was put together. That, or you were reading some crap to begin with. CRAP=the pretty chic on the cover, the spicy buy-line, and the empty promise of the title that is just as much a lie as the cross-eyed imaginings within the covers.”
- “Second; good writing is not necessarily about perspectives, as it is about having a voice. If you don’t have a voice, you’re not a writer. You might as well get you some crayons, because those of us who have indeed mastered our craft are laughing at your silly ass, callin yourself “keeping it real” on your pages. Get a hint, hustler: a true gangster moves in silence. He or she doesn’t promote thru music on disc or words on paper. And the last thing they do is get on the couch with a newscaster to say “I’m a gangster” with the cameras rolling. And if you’re claiming some kind of paradigm-shift and how you’re changing the definition of a gangster, you surely won’t last in a world of so many other town criers who call their words “writing.”
- Finally, you’ve attempted to “un-learn” what you think is good writing. You’re now reading and researching the dynamics of storytelling. There’s just one thing left to do. BOOYAH! The game is to be sold, not told! YOU figure it out!
*Okay, so that’s harsh. And I don’t act that way all day/everyday. What I meant to say was—in my kinder/gentler voice—there’s so much I’ve written over the years in my many blogs that can help you, the aspiring author. So read it, put it to use. And maybe you can come up out that hole in the ground that you think is a writer’s world, that you think is a solid foundation of things you know or which you have been through, when in reality its quicksand.
Shout out to the real gangsters who’ve managed to ignore all the bullshit people print in books.
Also of interest to authors!
GROWING & BLOWING: HOW I WENT FROM AWARD-WINNING AUTHOR, TO FILM MAKER