Monthly Archives: June 2015

Winston’s Back! Relationshhh – 2


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I wasn’t as fortunate as some of you, with resources, mentorship and inbred capabilities that lead you to that place, the king of your castle, with all your kids under one roof (the way it should be), and the connectivity of a lifetime; something to carry on for generations. I didn’t have such luck. My family was mismanaged when I got here, and I adopted some of the same hot mess/even tho I vowed to be different. Sometimes the cards are just not stacked in your favor. So, on this day, while I appreciate the love and support from all those who sent me text messages, emails, inboxes/posts… there are sacrifices I’ve had to make to sustain my peace, my freedom and my legacy. And while the relationships with my children are a work in progress, I cannot take all the blame. A child has 2 parents, and I cannot control the actions of the mom; especially in the pro-female atmospheres of  government and public services. So without going into great detail I will just hope for a better future, but continue to spread love in my circles and help those who are receiving. I am selfless in that way, plus it serves as my therapy.


You’re Already Gone – You’re Resiliant

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 I Sometimes I just don’t want to deal with the negativity. And while the world around me, the one before, the one I’m in now, and the one that wants me are all pulling at my soul, my resources and my ingenuity, (in that order),

I know it’s where I’m going that requires me to be focused on the blueprint at hand and where I am now, but not so much what’s pulling me backwards.

Progress and accomplishment require present focus and conscious, forward-thought. Present and conscious may mean being aware of your surroundings, as well as being aware of your career and the industry that you represent. Being present and conscious certainly requires staying spiritually grounded, healthy and mentally
driven. Being present and conscious may be sharing resources with those around you because, of course, you want progress for your friends, family and ultimately all human kind. That’s simple math we know as self-perpetuation. Professor Naiim Akbar taught me that. And if you don’t already know, giving to others leaves you with the greatest feeling imaginable. So then, maybe i’m preaching to the choir and you already know this? Or maybe this is new to you and I’m inspiring you and provoking thought? But then why is it so easy for us to surrender to the negativity?


Well for one thing, negativity feels good to us. It is a familiar sharp tech that we’ve been laying gone for as long as we know. So many of us know pain really good. So many of us know misery really good. So many of us easily succumb to the familiarity of pain and suffering and challenges and punishment.

So many of us are numb to it all. When itcomes our way we already know it, we know how to receive it and we know how to react to it. It’s much like the scars that
we have on our skin. Sure our skin refreshes itself every 18 months or so. That means whatever skin is on our body today will not be here in two years. However, the scars that we’ve earned have “learned themselves.” But the same goes for our mentality and our mental scars. We have learned how to cry and how to undergo punishment and the feeling that brings us and many of us curl up in the fetal position and weep.on the other hand, if you have been a soldier or if you know the soldiers state of mind, I’ll soldier continues to crank. It’s much like a machine that must churn, even if an arm or a leg get in the way, that wood chipper is unremorseful. That football team’s frontline is unrelenting. And that marine is unflinching. Just as Dr. Spock does not know emotion, and just as the pitbull or the parana or the colony of ants do not waiver from the blueprint before them, the individual who faces challenges and pains unknown must learn resilience. Sure, problems to pop up. But the question you must ask yourself is what will I do to turn this around? What resources do I have access to that will push me forward so that this too shall pass? In a nutshell, how will I overcome? For some of you this is a psychology that is foreign. And I feel for you. I hope you learned something from this and that it broadens your awareness. But for others, yo
u know exactly what I’m speaking of. So I say all of that to say

march forth soldier! That small object in your way is but a hurdle that you will overcome. It’s not that you might overcome it or that you possibly will overcome it; you will overcome the adversity. That is your state of mind. That is your practice and your routine, to handle the challenge and to overcome regardless.

And so personalizing this little essay tonight, it is my challenge to overcome the plug for all of negative energy that is targeted at my conscious thought. I closed a few deals today that mean a lot to my company’s bottom line. I feel I could have closed a few more had I not wavered from my plan and my routine to march forth, to be positive and to give my all. As an affirmation to myself, I must stay sharp and I must continue to master my craft/stay on my a game so that I continue to win and to discourage the negative forces around me. maybe you can use this affirmation yourself. Go ahead… Copy and paste it like you do some of my other posts. It’s alright; I’m already gone #relentless[/wr_text][/wr_column][/wr_row]IMG_0906.JPG

Khalif Browder – Crossed the Finished Line Alone


All I can say is wow. I tried to take this young man under my wing and he somehow wanted to stay connected to the hood. I tried to let this young man know that he was a leader and that he could change a lot of lives but he still had chains around him. I am saddened by this story but I can find resolve in the fact that “I tried.” Did I give it my best? I did what I was supposed to. I connected with him/his attorney and tried to mentor him and let him know that he had the whole world in his hands and look at this shit. My best can only go but so far. Communicating with him online, on this phone with his lawyer present and in person was apparently not good enough. So maybe I succeeded at trying.

I will say It’s crazy to see how much love and admiration is being shown now that he’s gone. Of course I posted after signing the book contract but it was moreso that you knew his story… It was moreso that you would know his pain.

You know what’s crazy is that he tried to kill himself five or more times while he was doing that three years @Rikers. Look at the irony of it all, how he was certain to have the most epic book to tell his story, and likely a movie as well, he could throw that all away without a 2nd thought.

The fame, money and importance meant nothing. Only thing that mattered was relieving his pain. And while his pain is gone now, I can’t help thinking that someone interfered in our allegiance…

in our partnership. I can’t help thinking that I had some hands on that steering wheel and that we were straight… He was bound to fulfill his destiny here. I can’t help thinking, yeah, we have to die in order to make a statement; in order to tell the world “LISTEN TO ME! I’M HURTING!!!” Please don’t think I’m trippin or blaming anyone, it’s just a thought. But my thoughts are pretty damned sharp. #KhalifBrowder

Rest in peace young man. You woulda, coulda, shoulda. And to you who interfered in his full journey, KB’s blood is on you fam. #relentless

Self Preservation & Goals vs Social Change & Solidarity:

relentless the fixerRoutine Preservation
For a long time I’ve been bunkered in my own world. It happened by default; the successful writing career, the failed marriage, the new business relationships and the change in geography. All of that conveniently cushioned by the money that comes as a result of my talent, my audacity and my drive. Okay wait, my connections, my tech savvy know-how and my own human resources. (Okay, all of that) Add to that, my own family has scattered and so have my friends. But I’m not alone. So many of us (maybe you too) venture off into distant worlds, places that entice us or places that we visited. We get comfortable and if we’re lucky we find our “happy spot.”

Others however, have found their way back “home.” Childhood friends, people you went to school with, neighbors and people from your work force of old. None of that works for me. My family is all over the place; there was no “family doctrine” or ritual that we followed that calls us together every year.

Maybe there are “sectors” of the family that do this, but I’m not embraced by them. Nothing real going on. Fact is, I’m the outcast who finds comfort wherever he is, whatever he’s doing. I can identify that great energy, connect myself to it and therein lies my happy spot. That is not to say that I do not care about those who have crossed my path. I just know that life affords us a certain window, and I’d like to experience as much of it as I can with the time awarded me. Having said that, and having experienced so many different people and different walks of life, I know how to preserve myself. I know how to protect myself and I know how to stay progressive. At the end of the day, I bring it all back home for all to experience however vicariously through my words. My personal goals are mixed in with my career goals. My career goals add up to my life’s purpose.And I’m focused. Staying focused means self control, control over my assets and my liabilities. It means control over my responsibilities. Washing my ass. Flossing. Eating right… in that order. Entangled in my equation is always my ability to give. I have been giving for decades. I’m not talking about merely writing but sharing resources and helping others so that they may experience some level of success in their own lives. This is my peaceful, successful, anointed, fruitful journey. It keeps me out of trouble 99% of the time, it keeps me productive and accomplished and I get to live out my legacy here.

Social change? Solidarity?

I’m living that in virtual ways. I watch the foolery and the poor decision-making online. I’m not interested in banging my fists up against walls or exerting unknown physical and mental torment by lashing out at the powers that be for shit that other people cannot control.

Who are “the powers that be?” Maybe it’s the security guard in the local CVS, who also carries a gun but who decides that he wants to show-out in the parking lot. Maybe it’s the community watch dog who goes above and beyond the call of duty to preserve “the quality of life” in the neighborhood. Maybe it’s the school security guard or local law enforcement or whoever wants to express themselves by exercising their ego… It seems that this is a never-ending dilemma: Who’s ego will be stroked today? Who will be disrespected and shamed in front of others? Who will be nasty and cut someone else off on the road? What cop is experiencing a psychosomatic imbalance and decides to bring that issue to work with him? Who is it that’s walking around with a chip on their shoulder today? Who said something about someone else, and who else feels the need to prove themselves today? Bigger than all of that, who feels the need to try and use their cell phone as some type of weapon?

I don’t know about you but, this shit is so predictable, how human beings can’t get along. Or if they have the resources or knowhow maybe they can. It’s just the spinning wheel of circumstance and coincidence playing out for us on TV and computer and cell phone every day all day. Some of it is new and unique #OMG! and a lot of it is predictable.

Most of us are not involved and we sit and watch it, comment and troubleshoot from the comfort of our secure homes. Me? I’m doing life my way. I’ve got my own mountains to move, nevermind yours. If you’ve got issues I hope you have a family member or friend to turn to; someone who’s smart and savvy. And then there’s always 911. Okay, so that might be my “tuff love” for the day, but its the truth. You’ve gotta play the cards you’ve been dealt. Play them well, and I’ll see you at the finish line! #Relentless

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